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Four letter word just to get me along.It’s a difficulty and I’m biting on my tongue and uh. I keep stalling, and keeping me together. People around gotta find something to say now. Holding back, everyday the same. Don’t wanna be a loner. Listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all. But with nothing to consider they forget my name, GLADYS YEO HAO JING & I love peace. :D what i desire most now is, to be a better person. Tagboard
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Friday, November 6, 2009 today, early in the morning went to serangoon macdonalds. really really sian... before that i forced myself to do many many things. trying to make me forget all those sad things that are always in my mind... how many times have i scolded myself for being so kind... how many times have i scolded myself... that i should be a little more selfish... i have no idea... it is countless of them... today, 6 november... it seemed to be already 4 december... wow... i didn noe how strong it is actually is... why ??? time does not fly! it crawls! even slower than a snail! wow... back to topic...went to mac.. did the nco thingy... my mind... flooded with those things... haiz... i hope i could get ride of them! ARGH!!! i hope i can just go for a sleep and the next thing when i wake up, everything goes back to 3 december. then i will not say the same thing anymore. i will not let history repeat itself. i am going to change everything... haiz... how naive i am... went to HQ at around 1245. the bus trip... i hate it. now, whenever i am alone, my mind would be flooded with all those... well... haiz. got off the bus, did many many things... offered help tried to keep myself busy... so as keep myself occupied... and not think of other things... so emo today.. so so so... EMO. in fact... i have been like this since day one. haiz. i hate this. totally. i am tired of everything. i am so regretful... i WANT THE TIME TO REWIND! i cannot take this anymore... i am going to collapse soon. by this does not fix asap..... i still got to wash the dishes, iron my uniform, polish my boots, and pack my bag... so... gonna go... byes... i will post tomorrow. Wednesday, November 4, 2009 well, today had main gate outing...was so fun!!!hahah! me, olivia,mingmin, wan qing, steff,jin jie and keith. MUHAHAH! the happy family... but then... joshua was absent for it... sad... my papa!!! hahah! so well, met up at 1250 at serangoon mrt station... but somehow, the sec2s and 3 were late... LOLS! wanqing got there 1st...me second... followed by ming min and olivia, then was steff..keith... and last was the I/C, JIN JIE!!! he was the organizer and yet he was late... dotz... took circle line, went bishan... then change line, went to city hall, then change line again, go bugis... hahah. but it didn take long.. we chat on the train, laughed super loudly... hahahha! everyone there were like staring at us but we simply ignored them...LOLS.... we are councillors yet... hahahah! but its okay... we are not wearing uniform and we dun have our ties...hahah! BUGIS. went to bugis junction. then looked for seoul garden. ate lunch there... well, since we are all students, we only need to pay $14.10 for it... inclusive of gst and service charge...WOW! the food there was fabulous! hahah! will certainly bring my parents to dine there next time... hahahh! there were huge range of meat... totally.. beef and whatever... wow... nice!!! yummy!!=D straight after, went to kallang... it was 3++ then...and ming min and olivia went to check the board to see what time the next sguttle bus will arrive... it would be 5!!! ming min will be so late! hahaha! so, well, we decided to take taxi...(hahah! sound like we are so rich...) initially wanted to have all 7 of us to squeeze into one taxi... but then... haix.. the taxi driver dun allow... so well, we splited into two groups, 4,3. went to kallang leisure park... again...the previous time, went there with yinton, olivia, jocelyn, keandra and qinying... hahahah! well, the fare was quite okay la... 4 bucks... hahah! splited among ourseleves.. okie la... went to bowl straight away we got there.. was really fun! but the first few bowls for me were all gutters... hahahha! i am so lousy in bowling! hahah! then somehow... i got two consecutive strikes... hehe... super happy.. but i was lucky la.. seriously forgot how to bowl already... so long since i went bowling hehe... wan qing, keith and jin jie were so pro! wanted to be like them... hahah! impossible la... but just, work hard lor... really enjoyed bowling today. hopefully in next year's march holidays, i could genting.. and i am sure, i will go bowling whole day! hahaha! well, it was like 4.45pm when we finished the game... set off home... gosh... ming min is really late... she was suppose to reach home by 5... and 15 minutes is impossible to reach home... took taxi to kallang mrt station again... heheh... fun!!! hahah! then wan qing and ming min took the train to joo kuan and i took the train to pasir ris... hopefully ming min won't be scolded that badly when she reaches home... haix... good luck... that is all i can say... haix... well, this is the 3rd day without kor kor at home... really miss him!!! ARGH!!! how i wish i could talk to him... seat on the sofa, beside him, talk to him about everyday's life while he plays the computer.... hahah! hope he had fun there... hope he enjoyed himself... do take care and enjoy!=D well, before i got home, went to fetch didi... was really sad today... haix... something has been bothering me... never mind... got home like 6+... so first thing i did was clear the mess... WOW... the house was in a big mess! hahah! clear up, and went to bathe... my mind is till flooded with all those things then... haiz... went to fry fried rice for didi for dinner... me? no appetite... maybe becos i ate too full for lunch or... never mind... well, can't believe i cut my hand with the knife as i slice the sausages into smaller pieces...wow... certainly didn realize that that has such big impact on me... should have have been thinking about it while i slice the sausages... haiz.. pain ... well well well.. a lesson learnt... anyway... dun be distracted by anything when using the knife... if not, dun use the knife at all... well, later going down with my didi to meet my mummy in punggol plaza... mummy wanted to get to groceries... likely... maybe i should remind her... the fridge has everything! it is still very full... hahah! i hope i can cheer up... stop thinking about it... come one... isn't there a saying, time files? just think about it every time is think of that... haiz... good night every one and i will try to post tomorrow! Saturday, October 31, 2009 It has been long since i had blog... so here i am now! well, these few days, many shocking news and stuff. some are good, the the others are bad. well... lets start from Wednesday... Wednesday Had training on Wednesday. was quite tiring as we kept doing foot drills, marching and we had to hold on with our leg 90 degrees up, toes point down for like 5-8 minutes... Did around 100++ pumping that day...cool right? hahah! but seriously, my arms were like losing all their power to hold anything, and my legs don't seem to be able to carry me. I was like so ready to fall anytime, any second... Thursday Basketball interclass. was really happy that we won the first runner up for it. well, did my best and.. i ran really at my fastest speed from point to point just to get the ball. haha. can't believe how fast i can actually run! UNBELIEVABLE! hahah! Think i over stretched my muscles as a result of it... pain... *arghhhh!* Friday the dooms day... die die die. really die. for sure not top ten. haix. but in the end, i am top ten, the 7th position! hahah! should be contented in a sense.. but still there is many rooms for improvement, and that is what i am going to do in the holidays... hopefully, if i don't slack...hahahha! this year, sec 1 streaming year. i went to class 2E4, with jinyi, shanice, jolyn, yinton, wei juan, jocelyn, olivia and tionglei. ONLY THE EIGHT OF US! ARGGHHHH!!! the rest of the class went to 2E5. haiz. really sad. i felt so empty when i got to know our class allocation. really cannot bear to leave anyone in the class. they are so nice and stuff. and there are too many fond memories that i cannot just put aside in a short time. i need time to rearrange my thoughts and emotions.. really really sad. why why why?? why streaming? why zhonghua so K.S? why zhonghua principal is ms dolly ong? why... haiz. my fault. why did i insisted to come to zhonghua.. if i hadn't once attained that kind of strong bonded relationship with the classmates, i won't feel that bad... went home, so sad sad. went to read up other people's blogs and came across Yufang's. there, i found that actually yufang really know me quite well... didn know that she took so much notice of me... thanks so much. thanks for making me feel that my presence is important. thank you. you will always be remembered. my best friend, my soul mate... Saturday early in the morning, 4.30, woke up and could not sleep anymore. might be because i was too nervous for the nco course... haiz. woke up and used the computer. went to olivia's blog, and there was this test posted on her blog that was really really accurate. WOW. so shocking. didn believe that a computer test on colours could read me so easily. went out to serangoon but then it was pouring a little heavily then. sad. was a little late when i reach the interchange but it was okay. my squadmates waited for me.=D the course was really horrible...well, very disappointing...sad...hiaz. but i am not going to give up. no matter what it is going to be, i am just going to posture a confident, well prepared gladys each saturday, with a wide smile, no worries and stuff for the course. i am just going to do my best out there, no matter what the outcome is going to be. went home and was really tired. slept in the afternoon for like a couple of hours and ehheeh...if someone were to find out of this, guess he would laugh his head off... heheheh...after that, woke up, did quite some house chores. so guai of me today. hahah!. then went to my room. the first thought that came into my mind was, my room is really the most horrible part of the whole hose. it is so messy and stuff. started off to clear up my things. first i placed the books that i want one side asnd those i am going to throw at another... somehow, it ended up that i was throwing my books all over the place. even more messy now. ehh... heheheh. now, still very messy. dun wan to touch it anymore now. gonna settle all those problem tomorrow...wait.. is later today... current time, 12 40. GUTEN MORGEN!( good morning in german). well, i am so looking forward to next next week. I am going to buy my textbooks! YAY! LOLS. i know i am being lame... but i really loved to bu books. hehehe. so wat i am going to do is that i am going to extort money from my parents and spend them all on my books in popular. cool? hahahah! next week, monday still have to go back school for the science enrichment thingy...so sad. but hope it is going to be fun. then right after still have to rush home to fetch my brother from the childcare... kor would have gone for MACAU by then... haiz... but good thing is that he said he would be online most of the time as he is bringing laptop there and i could chat with him! ahahah! YAY! maybe i will call him to buy somethings for me? haha! not sure but he asking if i wan a cardigan... heheh. Thoughts nothing in the world is fair and appeal to every single one of us. some people will just have to give in, and stuff. it does not mean that u are a coward or loser with you give in. it just shows that you are more mature in a sense and able to thing further and wider. doing good things is not for others. it is for ourselves. we will get our rewards someday. i believe. high expectations are potentially the cause of big disappointment and stuff.. if there is not expectations towards things, there would not be any disappointment. like what i always tell myself. nothing in this world is fair, nothing in the world is reliable and real. the one thing that is real, is that hard work will be rewarded handsomely, efforts shall be appreciated someday with someone. look at the bright side always. why? because no matter what happens, everything will still be the same. the sun will still be high up in the sky, the earth will still continue to rotate and stuff. nothing is going to change for you. in this world everyone's presence is significance. we all do. perhaps at some point of time, we might fell left out, not important and stuff. but we are all important. respect. i believe in my life, i think that respect is the most important criteria to be a good person. to matter to who. we must respect. to earn the respect from others, we must first learn to respect others. treat others like the way you want others to treat you.=D I am very lucky. My Sun is always guiding me in my life, encouraging me, giving me warmth. thank you. it is you who made me changed many of my perspective in life. i have changed to be more cheerful, more open to others of how i feel towards things, more confident, more willing to share my sorrows, my thoughts with others rather than hiding everything to myself, and sometimes even be as crazy as doing some self abuse. from you, i have gained many new knowledge and stuff. the credits goes to you. thank you. i wonder. how is life going to be like when u are gone. but i dun want to think all these now. i just want to cherish my time with you. I am thankful to my lord. for giving me so many good friends. i will never ever forget you guys even if we in different class. 1E4, thank you for being with me for the past one year or so. thank so for tolerating my willfulness, childishness and many more. thank you for giving me so much fond memories. it will always be kept deep in my heart... Sunday, October 25, 2009 Really tired today. for the whole of today, have been doing the NE star award thingy... somehow... no matter how i count it, i only have 25 stars...haix... 15 more to go!!! aiya. anw, today only did a few... sad... all these are driving me crazy... cannot even let me play... argh!!! really very nervous! NCO COURSE!!! haix...dun noe what to expect... really scared of the Sirs... argh! what if i kana course ic or something? oh dear!!! i guess... i just have to practice my first aid, foot drills and then...my uniform... ya... heard from Sir Ben that the attire check will be very very very strict! ARGH!!! i shall go and spend more time with my boots! ahahah! SAD... during the long holiday, i will be staying at home with my didi... babysit him... haix... kor and waipo going MACAU, then Mum and Dad have to work. sad.. really... no freedom...-,- Really worried for something... haix.. hope all these can be resolved... hopefully... haix. just hope everyone would be safe and sound, happy-always. May all hatred be put behind and sorrows be overwhelmed by happiness... very sian today... bored... feel like going to the beach. image the clear blue sky, the wide sea with no boundaries, the shandy shore, the cool breeze caressed my cheeks and ruffle past my hair. WOW! how i wish...if im there, wow...i will totally... love it man! today is just one of those days that i really have the urge to go to the beach, scream my head off, throw all my worries, sorrows, hatred out to the boundless sea... ![]() Saturday, October 24, 2009 well, this is my 100th post... dun noe why...feeling super moody yesterday as well as today... reflecting on what i had done the previous months... haix... really think i changed alot... i slack alot.... a new environment, new friends and everything really can change one's mind.. i changed. more emo, lass crazy. less hyper. less glad. less respectful. more complains and whining. and many many. i hate this me. i dun wan. dun wan dun wan dun wan! i believe, so long as im willing, willing to but in more effort, more patience, i can do it. i can change for the better. for i dream, and that would help in achieving what i want. my results can improve. i can get better results. jiayou. no point saying, because easy say than done. right? stayed in 1E4 for so long, i really loved this class alot. i nurtures me, to learn many many thing from each and everyone one of you all. although there are times, when u guys really irritate me, but, more joy, the laughter u guys bring is more than wat i can never obtain with other classes. ms lain said, the class would definitely be separated. i dun noe how it is going to be. i wish and hope for the best, that at least half the class could remain as one. even if we change class, i believe, we can all still remain as good friends forever and always. well, SJAB's training are getting a little tougher... perhaps it is is sir benjamin trying to prepare us for nco and course achieve... well well well... really scared. nco course would be super duper tough. but i noe, with all my squad mates united as one, we will strive as one, and overcome all those sort of ridiculous instructions given from our sirs. remember, all sir's orders are attainable. yesterday, me, kah wai, liling and ikhmah, did foot drills together, practicing the new command we learnt (keblakang pusing in marching). was really happy and glad that we could actually do a solid bang together. loud and nice. WOW. that kind of feeling is really.. i dun noe how to explain. but really it brightens my day up and build the my confidence i have in my squad mates. i believe in the next three years we are together, we will be united as one. ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE...=D well, the whole sec one cohort went to east coast park yesterday for beach cleaning. was fun and really enjoyed myself there. the most happiest time there was when we took the class pictur e. that is our one and only class picture so far. hope we can have more together in the remaining 2 weeks or so in zhonghua this year... the nice class picture. i will keep it with me forever and always... well, a picture of me and yinton taken on the bus...heheh... ![]() ![]() Wednesday, October 21, 2009 hehe...a random post on COLOURS...WhiteWhite is the color that represents purity, neutrality, sterility and youth. White is often associated with cleanliness or sterility. White is also associated with neutrality and peace. For the same reason it is a neutral color that will continue to be the preferred backdrop on websites and the "color" behind the color. In Western tradition the bride wears white, a custom dating back to Ancient Greece. There, the temple that was dedicated to the goddess. Athene was made of white marble. It led to the linking of the color to virginity. White is known for symbolizing light, reverence, purity, truth, snow, peace, innocence, cleanliness, simplicity, security, humility, sterility, winter, coldness, surrender, fearfulness, unimaginative, air, death (in Eastern cultures), life, marriage (in Western cultures), hope, bland, empty (interior) and January (winter). BlackBlack is a multi-dimensional color that can mean classic or new. It has an ominous characteristic symbolizing death. Therefore it is used in Western cultures for funerals. It has an air of intelligence (graduation robes), marked with rebellion (the bad guy), shrouded in mystery (space). It typically symbolized absence, modernity, power, sophistication, formality, elegance, wealth, mystery, style, evil,(such as in films) death (in Western cultures), fear, emptiness, darkness, seriousness, conventionality, rebellion, anarchism, unity, sorrow, professionalism, slimming quality (fashion) and torture.
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